Photography: Jeremy Pesina
Look #1: Vintage dress turned coat paired with trousers and dress shoes for a feminine take on menswear
Look #2: Romantic boho dress paired with red tights and boots for chilly weather
Spring is here! Aries season is here! Jupiter Retrograde is here! And boy did the Pisces moon make me go throughhhhh it. (Yes, I’m highkey an astrogeology thot now. If you’d like to learn more about the moon and orbital transits I highly recommend you check our Sarah Vrba on Youtube. Her insight and intuitive healing nature are powerful!) This time of healing and looking within can be pretty darn heavy and take a lot of you emotionally. It makes for an especially poignant time for practicing and nurturing self-love.
Which brings us to the focus of today’s blog post: love, specifically tips on both how to create a closet you love and how to cultivate more love in your life. The best part? This post is part of a collab with my friend and fellow blogger Carmina, because one sure fire way to bring in more love into your life is to surround yourself with likeminded people you vibe with. Pop on over to Carmina’s site for the deets on her outfits for the photoshoot featured on this post!
Alright so here’s the deal. Creating a closet you love and cultivating self-love go hand in hand!
Know thyself. Love thyself. Dress thyself! When you dive deep and really get to know yourself, your inner critic gets smaller and it becomes easier to love yourself. When you know and love yourself, you develop a sense of your own style. Buying things you’ll never wear becomes a thing of the past and what you do buy, you’ll wear with confidence!
PART 1: SELF-LOVE
You know that saying “wear the clothes, don’t let the clothes wear you” or something like that? YOU yourself are at the core of any outfit so let’s get that foundation radiant AF! Here are some quick tips/practices for cultivating more self-love! Take a glance at them whenever you feel like you need an extra dose of love.
1) RELEASE JUDGMENT
Can you believe what a complete loser bum you turned out to be? You’ve quite literally accomplished ZERO of your professional and personal goals. Man, if 15 yr old you saw the sorry state of your current life…so much potential WASTED. How pathetic.
If I said all that to you in real life you’d probably be ready to throw hands. So why do so many of us talk to ourselves in such a hateful manner? Sure, we might not be where we’d like to be in one or more areas of life but we don’t have to use our circumstances as a reason to pass judgment on ourselves. We often make any current undesirable conditions (and we’re the ones that label them as undesirable) mean that we are less than. We hold them as proof of some kind of moral failing on our part. We’re inherently lazy, dumb, untalented, selfish etc… Remember, yourself worth and value as human being isn’t dependent on external measures. You matter just for being.
Practical Step: Do a brain dump. In a journal or piece of paper, write down all those negative, judgmental, icky thought your feeling. Everything. Just let it flow on to paper. You’ll be surprised how much lighter you feel when it’s all out of your system. Heck, afterwards you can even burn that piece of paper if you’d like!
2) NOURISH YOUR BODY
Eat consciously, exercise, drink water, and sleep well. Seems like Self-Care 101 right? But it’s easy to neglect to do one or more of these things when caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life. Simply being aware of how you treat your body is the first step to treating it better. Our body, our thoughts, and emotions are all connected. Treat your body with love and you’ll start to feel more love. The action can come before the feeling!
Practical Step: Give yourself a “body love bath.” This is a practice I learned from Christine Hassler on her podcast Over And On With It. Do a body scan from head to toe and slowly send love to every part of your body, giving yourself a “body love bath.” Practice it first thing in the morning or whenever you feel like you need an extra dose of love for your physical body. It’s particularly powerful if you’re sick, injured, or just not feeling like you love your body. I’ve been using it to let go of the anger and the feeling that I’m “weak” that has arisen as I deal with a shoulder injury that has derailed my Muay Thai training.
3) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH LIKEDMINED PEOPLE WHO INSPIRE AND UPLIFT YOU
Your time and energy is precious. An important step in moving towards self-love is to respect and honor yourself enough to only invest in people who lovingly invest in you! No one-sided, toxic friendships and relationships!!! While we are our own ultimate source of love, connecting with others, during both our ups and downs, helps us feel like a part of something bigger, and love flows!
Practical Step: Having trouble finding people you connect with? Go out and do something you love or have always wanted to try! Take an art class. Go wall climbing. Join a running club. The list is endless. BUT don’t go out with the intention of meeting people. Go out with the intention to grow and enjoy yourself. I know this sounds counterintuitive but it works. When you’re in your element, doing something you love, you are at your most attractive. Trust me you and the right people will find each other. Plus, you’ll already have a common interest! (Side note- this also happens to be my number 1 dating tip. I meet my partner at the gym, training Muay Thai.)
PART 2: LOVE YOUR CLOSET
Okay so now that we got all these warm and fuzzy self-love feelings going, let’s turn to your closet! Here are my top tips for creating a closet you love!
1) KNOW YOUR CLOTHES NON-NEGOTIABLES
What are likes and dislikes when it comes to clothing? What are your non-negotiables? For example, I value comfort over all else. No matter how aesthetically pleasing something is I know I will not wear it if it’s uncomfortable. If I try a sweater at the store and it’s itchy, it becomes an automatic no for me.
Practical Step: Take some time to create a list of your closet non-negotiable (One of mine? I must be able to wear a dress without pantyhose/tights because I hate tights.) Not sure what yours are? Look in your closet and examine the things you don’t wear. Why is that? Perhaps you have some pale pink pieces you never wear because you realized they wash you out. Your new non-negotiable would be “No pale pinks, beiges, or greys that wash out my fair skin tone.”
2) SAY NO TO MAYBES
A major key to having a sustainable and carefully curated closet is purchasing only pieces you absolutely LOVE. I personally strive to make every purchase a conscious decision. Buy pieces because you can’t wait to wear them, not for the shot of dopamine you get when you purchase something. By saying no to those maybes, you leave room in your wardrobe for pieces you absolutely love instead of having a bunch of piece you even forgot you owned. Say goodbye to mindless consumption and hello to creating looks you love!
Practical Step: When debating whether to buy something ask yourself these questions. Do I love it? If this sells out how bummed will I be that I didn’t purchase it? What will I wear with it? Do I already own something similar? Will I still want this piece next year or next season?
3) KNOW YOUR BODY
Dressing for your body is all about proportions and silhouettes. We can create a flattering silhouette using certain fabrics and cuts. But to do that we gotta know what we’re working with! Are your shoulders wider than your hips? Is your torso longer than your legs? Knowing your body will help you pick pieces that will best flatter your shape.
Practical Step: Educate yourself! First you must know your measurements. This will not only help you learn your shape but you’ll be less likely to order the wrong size when online shopping! There are many resources out there will help you dress for your shape. The Pocket Stylist that demystifies the process of shopping with for a particular body type. I also check out my Pinterest! I’m always pinning styling tips!
Finally, remember to wear whatever it is you choose to wear with confidence! Cultivate self-love and your confidence will grow!